Deuteronomy 10:1-11:32

Often, it seems, we think of the Old Testament Law as being a thing of works: that the Israelites were to obey all God's commands, the emphasis on obeying, doing or not doing.  Salvation was obtained by working for it, obeying, doing or not doing.  Did you notice, though, that throughout this passage, just about every time (if not every) Israel is commanded to obey, it is accompanied with the command to love the Lord.  Love the Lord and keep His commandments.  Do all these things I am telling you, loving the Lord.  Circumcise your hearts.  Obedience wasn't to be simple blind obedience with no thought or regard, but instead was to be the outpouring of a heart devoted to the Lord, loving Him and therefore doing as He commanded.  God did not simply want Israel's obedience; He wanted their love and devotion.  What good is obedience if there is no love behind it?  I think of my own daughter: of course I want her to obey me.  If she obeys me, then I know the commands I give her for her benefit, to keep her from harm, to teach her how to be a good woman, to teach her to love God, she will obey them and benefit from them.  But it would be a bittersweet, if not simply bitter, if she obeyed me but did not love me.  If she simply did everything I said, but had no regard for me in turn.  Especially as I discipline her and command her out of my love for her and my desire to see her good.  It would break my heart if she did not love me back.  The same is true for God: He is a jealous God, wanting our devotion and our love and not to share it with false deities. 

It is true that the covenant established here, before Israel moved in to take possession of the land, was conditional God.  Even here in this passage, you see a foreshadowing of Deuteronomy 28-29, the Blessings and the Cursings (which one of my Bible college profs always maintained, and I agreed, was the the hinge upon which the Old Testament rests).  God promises them that there are blessings for obedience just as there are curses for disobedience.  But we have to take into account all the long history Moses has been reminding the people: that they had been disciplined again and again, experienced things that very well seemed like curses, but it was to discipline them as children of God.  The curses would be the same for the later day Israelites, as we'll read in the prophets when we come to them; these things were set in motion in order to bring the Israelites back to faithfulness in God.  Sometimes we need to see the consequences of our sin in order to understand the seriousness of sin and to remind us how much we need Him.

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 12:1-13:18 
(Is it just me, or are we flying through Deuteronomy?)

Deuteronomy 8:1-9:29

God gave the Israelites manna to eat, and manna only, so that they would understand that man does not live by bread alone.  I think this verse is more famous for it's quote by Christ in the gospels during His temptation than it is it's actual context.  That's okay.  But it did hit home tonight.  Really, God could have provided them with a feast every day for forty years (though even I can see why that wouldn't have been wise or good for them).  He could have had herds of cattle to sprout up from the ground, and indeed they did take herds in with them.  So why weren't they eating them?  God had ordained that the Israelites ate manna, that they depended on manna, that when they complained for meat, He engorged them so much on it that they no longer wanted it.  Why?  To teach them that it is not by their will or their bread that they live: that it was His supply, His guidance, His love, His providence.  Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.  It is God's Word that created the earth.  It is by God's Word that the earth shall be destroyed and then made new.  It awes me.

Certainly, if Israel was to be reminded that it was not for their own merit or righteousness that they entered the land, then they had the track record to prove it.  Moses could bring forth example after example to prove to them that they had been stubborn, willful, disobedient, and ungrateful.  Remember Horeb?  Right.  Remember the golden calf?  Yeah.  Remember Taberah?  Massah?  Meribah?  Kibroth-hattaavah?  Remember Kadesh-barnea?  Uh-huh, just to name a few, folks.  Israel hadn't merited the favor they were receiving, but God was faithful to His promises.  It was the wickedness of the people they were to drive out that really sealed the deal: their pagan worship, their idolatry, their immorality.  These peoples would never bow the knee to God and those that were allowed to remain were always enticing God's people away from Him.  It almost seems discouraging, leaving it here.  But there is a lesson here: it is not for our righteousness that God loves any of us.  "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8).  It is not because of our good qualities that He loves us.  He loves us because of who He is.  That means that no matter what we've done, or what we could do, we can come to Him.  It is not conditional upon us, but upon Himself, who will never change.  He has said He loves us, that He wants us.  He will do all the work to make us what we should be, if we will only let Him and not rebel as the Israelites did.  They were a mighty people when they were obedient.  They were impotent when they weren't.  We can learn from that.

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 10:1-11:32

Deuteronomy 6:1-7:26

It amazes me; does it amaze you?  The bounty that the Lord showered on the Israelites when they possessed the land.  The Lord gave them "great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant," (v. 10b-11).  He admonished them that when they had eaten their fill to remember Him, as it was a foregone conclusion that they would.  Imagine the transition from eating manna at every meal for forty years to eating from the goods of a land already cultivated, already broken in and made.  They did not have to break the ground; they did not have to build their shelters; they did not have to wait for the crops to grow to be plentiful.  They just moved in and took over.

It amazes me, then, that they should ever want to pursue their neighbors gods.  Did any of those gods give Israel that land?  Did any of them provide for them in the midst of the wilderness?  Did any of them take them from Egypt?  Did any of them then hand over the people they were about to dispossess?  For that generation, when Joshua asked them whom they would chose to serve, it may have been very easy to say that it was the Lord, as they saw that as long as they were faithful, the promises in Deuteronomy, to prosper and never grow sick, were fulfilled.

Ah, but here's the crux: they were also commanded to teach their children these statutes and commands.  They were talk of them when they sat in their houses, when they walked along the way, when they went to bed, when they got up in the morning.  They were always to keep the Law of the Lord before them so that each generation would know it, and understand why they should follow it.  Because there would come a generation, several generations, who did not see the escape from Egypt, or the years in the Wilderness, or the taking of the Promised Land.  They needed to know why they were so blessed, or why they weren't.  Was Israel faithful to do this?  We shall see in books like Joshua and Judges and the Samuels and the Kings.  If we know any Old Testament history, we already know.  And know the consequences.

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 8:1-9:29

Deuteronomy 5:1-33

I almost laughed in irony as I read v. 29 in this passage.  Moses is reminding Israel of the 10 Commandments, the sons and daughters of the generation that received them.  He describes for them how the Lord had spoken to their parents out of a fire consuming the top of the mountain, and how their parents feared to remain in His holy presence.  They alone of the people of the earth were given an opportunity to hear the voice of God has He commanded them, and it was too much: they knew if they heard anymore His holiness would overcome them.  They promised Moses that if he would be a liaison between themselves and God, they would do everything the Lord commanded.

The entire time reading this, I kept thinking to myself, "They saw God!  They saw Him and heard His voice from the midst of the fire and knew that His very words had the power to kill them.  Why did they not remember this at Kadesh on hearing the spies' report and say to themselves, 'It doesn't matter how big these people are!  Our God could kill them with a whisper!'" and just march on in?

V. 29: "Oh that they had such a mind as this always, to fear Me and to keep all My commandments, that it might go well with them and their descendants forever!"

Even at the time the bargain was struck, God saw what was coming down the road.  They would not always keep "such a mind as this."  Instead, they would become tied to the things of the present and forget God's awesome power and how He could pave the way for them.  They were stubborn and obstinate and disobedient.  And that entire generation who saw with wisdom that God's holiness did not mix with their sinful natures died in the desert for lack of wisdom and judgment and faith.

Lest we judge them too quickly, though: how many times have we seen God do incredible things, both big and small, and forget them or fail to recall them to mind when faced with a new trial or crisis?  It is easy to do, isn't it?  Instead, we need to take on the attitude mentioned twice in this chapter: "being careful", or being intentional, doing with purpose, all that the Lord has commanded.  Being careful to remember what the Lord has done for us so that in times of trial our faith is strengthened.  We see it happen a lot in the Psalms!

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 6:1-7:26

Deuteronomy 3:1-4:49

I've been doing a lot of reading and studying lately and my brain is turning to mush at the moment.  The reading and studying aren't going to let up, much, so I need to acclimate myself.  But for tonight, I can't say I can manage much.

Does it strike you that one really good reason Moses has given Israel its history is to provide an object lesson for chapter four?  Really: he is about to lay down the Law, literally, with them, and he urges them to commit themselves to obeying God above all and forsaking idols and carven images.  Would not their parents' history provide an excellent reminder of the consequences for disobeying and cheating on God?  After all: none of their parents will enter the Promised Land, except Joshua and Caleb, the two who pleaded with the people to listen to the Lord and go in to possess the land.  Even Moses, who in the pride of his heart sinned against the Lord, would not be allowed to go in: the most he was permitted was to climb to the top of a mountain and to look over the Jordan; he would never cross it.

God makes good on His promises: if He promises to care for you, He will do it.  If He promises that there are consequences to disobedience and pride, there will be consequences.  Think of all the promises that a believer can claim: think of all that we have been taught through the Bible.  Will God not be faithful to complete them?  God promised Israel that the generation who rebelled would not enter the land, and not a single one of them did.  The nation waited for forty years for the last of them to go before allowing their descendants to cross over.  God promised Israel that if they obeyed Him and sought Him that they would prosper in the Land and would never want; He also warned them that if they did not, He would remove them from the land.  Generations later, He did.  Similarily, if God says we can do all things through Him, then we can.  If God says He will never leave us or forsake us, He won't.  If God promises there will be trials and difficulties, there will be.  But He also promised they would benefit us; we need only be patient and keep our eyes open to see how.  He is a good and faithful God, the one and only God.  Aren't you glad, as I am, that He is so unchanging and faithful, good on His promises?

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 5:1-33

Deuteronomy 2:1-37

You know what struck me about this passage?  God's provision for the descendants that we sometimes think were not favored by God.  The Edomites, for example.  They come from the line of Esau.  Esau, we remember, was rejected to carry the inheritance of God's promises: God chose Jacob instead.  We are familiar, are we not, with that phrase, "Jacob have I loved, Esau have I hated."  Granted, Esau was not a man to follow God's heart: he married Canaanite women and despised the things God held important.  Yet, God does show His concern over Esau's descendants in His instructions to Israel.  Israel was not to contend with the Edomites, to pay their way through the land by purchasing supplies, and to respect that that land was off limits, for God had given it to the Edomites as descendants of Esau.  The same goes for the land of the Moabites, as descendants of the sons of Lot, and the Ammonites.  None of these people held any great love for the wandering Israelites, intimidated as they were by their size and the clarity of the fact that God blessed their endeavors.  Still, God had given these peoples lands of their own, and He protected and honored their claim to the land.  We do not often think of God providing for these people because of their descent (after all, Moab and Ammon were the products of incest), but He did.  It makes me stand up and take notice of the fact that God cares for even the smaller details that I might be too busy or to engrossed elsewhere to pay attention to, the ones I ignore.  What would it be like if I had eyes to see as God would have me see?

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 3:1-4:14

Deuteronomy 1:1-46

Deuteronomy means "second law", or in this case it is the second giving of the Law.  The original generation that had received it when Moses received the Law from the Lord had passed away.  Now, as the Israelites stood poised on the edge of the land promised to them through their forefathers, it was necessary to again command them in the name of the Lord, teach them the Law, and make a covenant before the Lord that they themselves would be responsible for.

The second giving opens here with a reminder, a history of why they found themselves in this place.  Frankly, if their parents had obeyed God and gone in when they were commanded, the present generation receiving the Law from Moses would have grown up in the land; they would have been among the early inhabitants.  The generations would have gone immediately from those who grew up in Egypt to those who grew up in Israel.  Instead, this generation had grown up wandering from place to place, their eyes on the Lord before them as He led them in a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire, listening to the voice of Moses, who was about to leave his place to Joshua.  Consider the anticipation they might have felt as they listened to Moses: they who had had no permanent home would understand what it was to possess a piece of land, an inheritance other than slavery or wandering lost in desert lands.  They had grown up hearing about the Promised Land, hearing and expecting what was to come, and now as they stood in the Arabah just across the Jordan River, they could see into the land that would be theirs.  And here, Moses is giving them the terms and conditions upon which they would possess it.  I would hope I'd be listening.

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 2:1-37

Numbers 35:6-36:13

The last day in Numbers!  I admit, there were a few times I asked myself how many chapters Numbers had, but for the most part it has flown by.  And tomorrow: Deuteronomy.

The cities of refuge has always been a facet of the Law that has intrigued me.  Mostly, this is due to imagination.  I try to put myself in the shoes of someone who has found themselves a manslayer.  Added to the guilt that you have accidentally killed another human being, you must uproot yourself from your land and your family and flee to one of six cities throughout Israel.  After your trial, if you are found innocent according to the laws of an accidental slaying, you must rebuild your life in the city of refuge.  Even if your father or mother back home falls ill, dies if someone is married or born, you cannot leave that city.  If you do, your life is subject to the avenger of the person you killed.  I would think it would be very difficult to wait for the death of the high priest, to not secretly pray for his early dismissal from life so that you might go home again.  What if you went home after decades?  What if you never got to go?

The cities of refuge are not unlike the practice of sanctuary in a medieval church.  During the Middle Ages in Europe, anyone could flee within the walls of a church and escape the repercussions of the law, debt, or similar provocation.  The Church became a place of refuge for those being hounded by the law or by enemies.  They were safe, so long as they remained within the walls of the church.  Like just about any other provision, it was something that could be used, or abused. 

It makes me wonder, though, do you think the psalmists who wrote that the Lord was their refuge might have had the cities of refuge on their minds at all?  A city of refuge was a safe place, but rather than fleeing to one, the psalmist flees to the Lord.  How much more enduring God's refuge is!  It may not be as tangible, some days, as the walls of a city, as a little hut or room within the boundaries of a certain place, but how much more complete in the sovereign Lord.  He is able to protect us, to preserve against our enemies.  We may go through trials and difficulties, persecutions and pain, but as 2 Corinthians 4:8-11 says, "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh."

Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 1:1-46

Numbers 34:1-35:5

Before they ever entered the Promised Land, the Lord laid out the boundaries of what they were to possess.  From south to west to north to east, everything was outlined.  I looked up a number of commentaries on this chapter, and every single one focused on the geography of the borders.  Not a bad thing to do, as it gives us an understanding of what land exactly had been promised to the nation of Israel.  This did the same thing for the Israelites; God basically said, "This is what your land is, now go in and get it."

It's entirely possible that is all this passage is: fyi.  I am the kind of person who likes to know my boundaries before I go in and do something: what's expected of me, what's the minimum, if there's a maximum.  Let me know what to expect, and I'm pretty much good.  Yet a small part of me wonders if there was a two-fold purpose to telling them a head of time, rather than giving in instructions before they went in.  Could it be that it was given to Moses, as Joshua, though succeeding in leadership, would not contain a full measure of the Spirit that Moses did and didn't entertain the same relationship Moses had with God?  Giving the instructions to Moses, as their leader and emissary from the Lord for the past 40 years, may have added more weight before the Israelites?  Could it be it was so that the Israelites didn't get greedy and try to take more than the Lord had sanctioned?  Could it be so that the Israelites wouldn't get lazy and just settle for what they saw as good, as Gad and Reuben and half of Manasseh had?  Or maybe, it was just fyi.  I don't know.  And none of the commentaries seemed to even wonder.  Perhaps it's something I'm going to have to ask God myself some day, if we discuss things like that in Heaven.

It's a good thing to think about, though.  Currently, I'm embarking on a project on writing for a ministry.  I'm intimidated by the task before me.  My own expectations for myself are high.  It's one of those times I wish the Lord had stated outright what my boundaries were.  "In this, you are to go this far, and no further.  In this, you must be sure to strive for this point."  Something like that.  There seems to be a little more leeway here.  The possibility still remains, though, that I could easily pursue my own goals rather than the Lord's.  As I don't have a Moses to give the proclamation from the Lord (and don't need one, exactly, as the Holy Spirit Himself resides in me and communicates with me), this means I need to spend more time in prayer, seeking Him out, making sure I still following Him through the process.  His will be done, right?

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 35:6-36:16

Numbers 33:1-56

This is a chapter I had to break out the Bible Atlas to follow.  If you've never given it much thought before, an atlas is a serious Bible aid you should have in your home library.  Even if you only own two books.  Make the third a Bible atlas.  Here is the chronicle of Israel's wanderings, but it doesn't make much sense to us modern readers, does it?  Not, unless, you're familiar with Palestine and the area.  This is a travelogue of forty years worth of national movement, but we can't even follow it.  Unless you've got an atlas.  Mine, I bought it in Bible college.  I've never regretted it.  Reading this chapter, I could look from verse to map, map to verse and follow the route the Israelite's took as they in turn followed the Lord's pillar through the wilderness. 

Granted, they don't know for sure where Mt. Sinai is, nor where many of the places between the crossing of the Red Sea and Mt. Sinai are.  It's assumed it's on the Sinai Peninsula (hey, they do actually share a name), but the mount assumed to be Sinai does have a disappointing lack of evidence that ever hundreds of thousands of people camped there.  There have actually been a number of explorations trying to identify the real Mt. Sinai, and they range from the Sinai peninsula even into Saudi Arabia, in what was then the land of Midian and Arabia.  We still don't know.  So for the portions leading up to and leading directly away from Sinai, those places are actually a bit up in the air.  We do know, however, where Kadesh-Barnea, and that for much of that 40 years' wanderings they seem to have been going relatively in circles.  What more could they have done, with years stretching before them and never wandering far from the land they would eventually go in?  Eventually, though, they find themselves camped in the Plain of Moab, poised across the Jordan for Jericho, ready to go in.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 34:1-35:5

Numbers 32:1-42

So, Gad, Reuben, and half of the tribe of Manasseh decide to stay east of the river.  Seeing that the land of Gilead was good, that they had already driven out the rulers, if not all the people, before them, they chose to take their inheritance early rather than settle west of the Jordan with the rest of the group.  Their promise to be faithful in helping to subdue and win the Promised Land bought them the tract outside it.  But I wonder if the land was really "as good" as they hoped?  Perhaps their cattle grazed there with little problem, but being separated from the rest of the tribes, would they be as protected?  Would eventually misunderstanding crop up?  Would the unity of Israel be affected?  What's even more interesting to me is that Gad and Reuben and Manasseh do go with the Northern Kingdom of Israel when the split comes someday--or they disappear.  I know that it was Judah and Benjamin alone that remained loyal to David's descendants.  We'll have to see what happens to them in the future, as we are coming up to the historical books after Deuteronomy.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 33:1-56

Numbers 31:1-54

Moses' death is drawing near.  The Lord tells him to take revenge on Midian, and then he would be gathered to his people.  I sometimes wonder what it might have been like for Moses to know that these were among the final acts he would do before his time to die.  Was freaked out at all?  Was he glad to go?  After all, it hadn't been an easy job leading the Israelites.  There were many times he wanted to quit.  Perhaps it was a relief, and the only pang was not being able to enter the Promised Land after all this time.

You might remember that the Midianites were the ones who led the people astray into idolatry and licentious acts at Peor.  What you may not have known, as I hadn't until reading this passage (how had I missed this before?) that it was on Balaam's advice that Midian enticed Israel.  I think that very well may sum up Balaam's character.  He had been prevented from cursing Israel as he'd been hired to do, he readily admitted that he couldn't have done otherwise, and yet... seems he wasn't too happy about it.  He recommended to the Midianites that they lead the Israelites astray, and it worked.  24,000 Israelites died because of the plague that resulted.  Midian was in part responsible, and Israel's action against them was God's punishment upon them.  Lest we think that God was spiteful by having all the males and all the women who had had relations with men killed, we must remember one thing: later on in the Bible Saul allows a woman to live when he should have slaughtered the entire nation, and eventually, eventually a descendant lives to harass the Jews in Persia in the form of Haman.  He had carried a grudge against them all the way down the generations.  That possibility was more than likely now, especially in a woman who's husband or lover may have been killed by the Israelites.  Those who were yet unattached may be young enough to learn to forgive and assimilate in the Israelite lifestyle.

But back to Balaam for just a minute.  I've corresponded a little bit with a friend on the topic of him, and she gives an interesting insight.  Balaam obviously had some sort of relationship with the Lord, but it doesn't necessarily mean he had a close one.  Instead, my friend suggests, he may have known the Lord by reputation, after all it was known amongst the neighboring nations what happened at the Red Sea.  The Amalekites came out against them before they even reached Sinai (Ex. 17), and since that time the Israelites had defeated not only the Egyptians and the Amalekites through God's blessings, but also the Canaanites at Arad, the kings Sihon, an Amorite, and Og of Bashan (Numbers 21).  Their reputation preceded them well before they entered the Promised Land to face Jericho (Judges 2).  The God of Israel was known by the name LORD and was acknowledged of as god of great power, if not THE GOD, and was greatly feared, though they did not worship Him.  (Ironic, isn't?  Those that did worship Him did not fear Him as they should, and those that didn't worship Him feared Him greatly.)  Balaam, likely, then knew the Lord by reputation and likely didn't want to cross Him, though he could have been induced (and was induced) for the right price.  It would seem, though this is conjecture, that when he didn't gain that price, he stooped to "petty vengeance" by offering advice to the Midianites on how to deal with the Israelites.  Rather than curse them outright, he went under the table to give them trouble.  So, not, unfortunately, a man who learned to love God when confronted with him, but evil and pagan and chose money over all.  It's sad, really.  Another example of a man doing good by showing you what not to do.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 32:1-42

Numbers 29:1-30:16

Random facts about the Feast of Tabernacles: 70 plus 1 bulls would be sacrificed, 14 plus 1 rams, 98 plus 7 male lambs, and 7 goats.  I don't know why, but when I read the passage I wanted to know this.

Women and vows.  I think a lot of modern day readers would have been indignant at the exceptions given to a woman and her vows.  The man vows before the Lord, and he is responsible for his vows, no questions asked.  A woman makes a vow, and her father or husband is able to cancel it out.  Today, we would think that would be male chauvinism.  But on reading the passage, I came away with a very different impression.

First off, a vow before the Lord is very, very serious thing.  Just ask Jephthah (Judges 11).  If a man made a vow, he was subject to keep it, no matter the consequences.  Period.  A woman, however, is to submit to her father while she lives in his house or her husband.  At this time, there was really no other state.  The Bible teaches us throughout that we as women should be willing to submit male authority: this is the way God has set it up.  If you disagree with me, I'm sorry, but check it out: it's there, and it's not a cultural thing, as it spans thousands of years of culture.  We could get into a long discussion on it, but let's worry about it when we come across one of those passages.  For now, we know that especially in Israel under the Law, a woman should submit.  So, what happens if she makes a vow, rash or very sincere and reasoned, and then her father or husband forbid her to carry it out?  What then?  She has made a vow: there is no getting out of vows.  This passage provides for her: the Lord will release her.  In order that she not make the problem worse by going against her father or her husband, the Lord will no longer hold her responsible as long as her husband [or father] speaks his mind the day he hears about it.  (Now, if he hears about it, stews about it, and then speaks about, too bad so sad.  The Law is clear: he must speak when he hears of it.)  She herself will not be held responsible for her not fulfilling her vow.  However, did you notice 30:15?  It speaks to that stewing bit, if he decides to speak after he has heard about it: if he then nullifies her vow, after essentially establishing it, okaying it by not speaking against it, he will bear the responsibility of her breaking the vow.  She is not released, and she is not responsible: he is for his own actions.  It seems to me a good thing: it allows a woman to fulfill her role in propriety and piety while not holding her responsible for a decision she may not have been allowed to help make.  I think here is an example of God providing, not limiting.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 31:1-54

Numbers 27:1-29:11

I've been sick the past two days, completely and utterly exhausted.  The discomfort of pregnancy had affected my ability to sleep to such a degree that my poor brain has been sluggish in protest.  I wish I could say more about these chapters, about the offerings before the Lord and especially the commissioning of Joshua in Moses' stead (and the fact that he was invested with only some of Moses' power), but I actually feel it is an accomplishment I got it read.  My brain kept trying to shut down with every sentence.  In fact, I may need to go back and reread the first part of ch. 29, as I'm not sure how much sunk in.  I guess some days are just like that.  I hope to be more on my game tomorrow.  I'm praying for a very good night's sleep.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 29:1-30:16

Numbers 26:1-65

Here we see the Israelites preparing for their entrance into the Promised Land.  After the plague for disobedience and idolatry in the last chapter, the Lord calls a new census to be taken.  Why?  The entire generation that had rebelled against the Lord about going into the land had died; the last of them must have gone in the plague.  It says that among those listed in the new census, not one had been listed in the census at Sinai (v. 64).  According to this census would the land be divided among the tribes and inheritances handed out; if the tribe was large, they would be given a larger tract of land to accommodate their people; if the tribe was small, their lot would be smaller according to the number of their people.  It was a way to ensure that everyone in Israel had an adequate inheritance, if they were careful to take care of it and protect it and nurture, and their relationship with their God.

What really struck me about this passage, though, is the part about Korah.  You remember the story: Korah leads a rebellion against Aaron and Moses, speaks out against God, and in punishment the earth opens up and swallows Korah, his cohorts, and their families.  But not, apparently, Korah's sons.  Perhaps they chose not to stand with their father in his rebellion (likely, I think, since everyone else went into the earth); it's not explicit, but we know they were granted a stay of execution.  The next time we see the sons of Korah?  In the Book of Psalms are a number subtitled as a maskil by the sons of Korah.  What a maskil is, exactly, is obscure to us: we have no idea.  But it is thought that it is a sort of musical term, perhaps it's a type of song.  We don't know.  However, what is clear to us is that the sons of Korah eventually became a prominent group of musicians among the Levites, kind of like the Old Testament equivalent of Matt Redman or Lincoln Brewster or Christ Tomlin, or a host of others whose names I don't know as I'm not much of a music buff: those that write the worship songs we like to sing in our churches today.

Talk about second chances.  Talk about redemption.  Talk about good coming out of something bad.  How often does the Old Testament talk about sins and the consequences for sin being visited upon  generation and generation after the original?  (Um, just look at Adam, right?)  Why is it that Korah's entire household went down with him?  Yet his sons survived, and his descendants, coming from an angry and rebellious forebear, become examples of worship in the Old Testament.  Talk about awesome!  We today even know some of the words they wrote with the Holy Spirit: anyone ever sing, "As the Deer?"  Yeah, that comes from a psalm the sons of Korah wrote to worship the Lord.  Pretty cool, huh?

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 27:1-28:15

Numbers 24:15-25:18

One of my professor's in Bible college wrote his doctoral dissertation on this incident, specifically on the blessing Phineas received from the Lord.  I always wondered what he wrote, or at least what his thesis for the dissertation was, though I've never been overburdened with the idea that dissertations were incredibly interesting to read.  It's such a strange, obscure, bloody little incident in the Old Testament.  The people of Israel are bowing down to another God and in the midst of their discipline from the Lord, a man flaunts his disobedience in God's and Moses' and the people's faces by taking a Midianite woman to wife, right there.  Phineas burns with righteous anger and puts them to death.

Note, though, that the Lord is not blessing him for the bloodiness of his actions, but that he was did what must be done out of a zeal for God, and a jealousy that Israel remain pure unto the Lord.  God says, "he was jealous with my jealousy among them [the people of Israel]."  There was a plague upon the people and their chiefs were sentenced to death; 24,000 people died for their disobedience.  And God makes it clear that He would have punished far more for allowing this man to be so brazenly disobedient before the Lord if Phineas had not acted.

Have you ever wanted an amazing blessing from God?  I know I have.  Is it really as simple as having a heart full of zeal for the Lord?  Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."  Does this mean that if you desire piles of riches, credit cards with million-dollar limits, four Maseratis and a mansion on your own island, that you can simply delight yourself in the Lord and you'll get everything?  No.  My friends and I have often talked about the fact that when you truly delight in the Lord, the desire of your heart is... the Lord.  Does it mean that if you delight yourself in the Lord, nothing bad will ever happen to you?  Definitely not.  We're promised difficulties, only that our difficulties will come to good for our sakes (Romans 8:28).  However, the example of Phineas does show that those that love the Lord do find blessings, that Psalm 37:4 is not an empty promise: that God does look to the cares of those who love Him.  Really, you continue reading in that Psalm, and you'll see such promises that if you trust in Him, He will act; that He will bring forth your righteousness, that the Lord will see justice done.  Isn't that a deep desire within us?  That justice prevail.  And if we love the Lord, that His will be done.  Promises to live by.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 26:1-65.

Numbers 23:1-24:14

Let me tell you, I'm still a little conflicted about Balaam.  Was he a follower of God or a wicked diviner?  The thing that put me back into this circle of thinking is that he instructed Balak to set up seven altars and to sacrifice seven bulls and seven rams on the altars.  Then he said he would go inquire of the Lord and he would have to speak whatever the Lord told him.  Not of the commentaries I consulted said the exact same thing, but I did get some of the various viewpoints as follows:

• the seven altars with seven bulls and seven rams was a pagan practice based off texts from Babylon describing a similar practice
• that the seven altars was a pagan practice because it was not instituted by God through the Law
• that perhaps Balaam set up altars to the Lord, using the number seven, a pagan number, to throw Balak off his true intentions
• that Balaam was clearly a pagan diviner practicing the arts of divination and sorcery

And further things like that.  I readily admit that the writers of these commentaries have studied and understood far more of Scripture than I have, that many of them know and understand the original language in which the Scripture was written; that because of that, they may know and understand more than I do.  That is all very true.  But it really doesn't fill in some gaps for me.  They are these:

• If Balaam was strictly a pagan diviner, why would he go the Lord to even ask permission to go?  Why not just go?  (Though we know that he did love money more than the Lord and was seeking an excuse to go.  Scripture teaches us that.)
• Why would setting up altars with sacrifices necessarily be pagan just because it was outside the Law?  The Law as a new institution and was only given to the people of Israel.  Does it necessarily follow that Balaam would know it and follow it, being outside the nation of Israel?  Does he have to be an Israelite in order to be a prophet or to have a relationship with the Lord?  Granted, after this time, we have no record of such a thing.  But that is after the Law is established.  Before that, we have Melchizidek, whose priesthood Christ's priesthood finds Scriptural precendence.  (I am NOT remotely saying Balaam is like Melchizedek or that he was even a priest; but only pointing out isn't there a possibility he could still have had a relationship, however murky, with the True God?)
• If Balaam was strictly pagan, why did he forewarn Balak that he could only repeat the words the Lord gave him? Repeatedly?
• Let's say that Balaam was a pagan diviner, why not, by the time he has met with Balak, would he not have resigned himself to the fact that the Lord was in complete control, resign if not fully and freely acknowledge this after his encounter with the Lord?
• Maybe I'm just looking into this too much?

Regardless, we know these things to be true: 1) Balaam did indeed warn Balak that God's will would be done, no more; 2) each time, Balaam said that he was going to inquire of the Lord; 3) each time, Balaam came back with a blessing, despite Balak's continued efforts to produce a curse; 4) at the end, Balaam acknowledges that he could have done no more than God instructed him to, and no amount of money could have changed the outcome.  We also know from two Scripture passages that Balaam loved gain from wrong doing (2 Peter 2:15), but he was restrained from madness by his donkey's speaking; that likely Balaam did seek to curse Israel at some point for his monetary gain, but that the Lord would not listen and ruled sovereignly over the whole thing (Deuteronomy 23:4-5).

Where does that leave us on Balaam?  I don't know.  I'd like to think his wickedness was all before the talking donkey experience, and that when he sought the Lord and acted before Balak it was with a contrite heart and a desire to obey God above all else, no matter the mess he'd gotten himself into.  I don't know that any of us, Bible scholar or not, can really read far enough into the texts of Scripture to really understand that.  Maybe I'll find out in heaven.  We definitely don't know what kind of life Balaam lived afterwards, and we do know that his reputation for sinfulness was certainly deserved before his encounter with the angel.

One thing I do know is that God's Will will not be thwarted.  God determined, even promised Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, that the Israelites would not be cursed but would be blessed.  That those who cursed the Israelites would be cursed, and those who blessed them would be blessed.  Look at what happened to the peoples of Moab: long since wiped out.  However, we have an Israeli nation today; they have indeed survived long past Balak, just as he feared.  Balaam learned the hard way that God is sovereign and He would not be contravened; Balak also learned the hardy way; hopefully, that means that we won't.  Here is an awesome piece of Scripture that teaches us that indeed, GOD cannot be stopped.  And thankfully, as Romans 8:28 promises, He works all things to the good of those who love Him.  So, though horrible things may arise, though our lives are definitely not one long walk among the daisies, God is sovereign and He will work things to the good: He can and will take those bad experiences and make them for our own benefit.  Praise the Lord God Almighty.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 24:15-25:18

Numbers 22:1-41

Balaam and his donkey!  My favorite story in Numbers!  Definitely one of my Top 10, if not Top 5 stories of the Old Testament all together.  This stuff is great!  I admit, I was excited to get to read this again.

On rereading, however, Balaam proved to be a bit of an enigma for me at first.  It's clear he's been granted some power, or at least some insight, as he has a reputation that whatever he curses or blesses proves to be true (v. 6), which is why Balak summoned him to Moab.  Also, he inquires of the Lord before he sets out on his journey, twice.  This doesn't speak to me of the man I thought Balaam was.  After all, this is the guy who stubbornly refuses to recognize there's something going on with his donkey, and so beats her out of his own blindness; who is so determined to curse a people that he has to bless them three times instead to get the message through his head!  Surely, a guy who has blessings that stick and who goes before the Lord, refusing to take a job without the Lord's permission, wouldn't be that dense, right?  Couple that with the fact that the Lord actually gave him permission to go (conditional, granted) and then was angry with him for doing so, and I found myself reading a story I didn't know very well.  None of it was making sense!

I read up in some commentaries, and I had to remember: let Scripture teach Scripture.  See, in 1 Peter 2:15, Peter explains that Balaam wasn't going out of the purest of intents or going because he'd been commanded to go.  Instead, we see that Balaam loved gain from wrongdoing: he was being greedy with the promises of these rich princes come to collect him for Balak.  God, who knows the hearts of men, understood that Balaam was simply looking for permission to go and to gain money.  Clearly, he loved money: the whole story smacks of it.  He already knew the Lord didn't want him to curse these people as they were already blessed by God, but he asked for permission again, just in case.  God knew in his heart that Balaam went for gain.  He was, after all, selling his services as a prophet, or at best a medium between God and man.  He was using his access with the Lord to make money, and this job was "surely no different."  But it was.  Perhaps Balaam had started out with a pure heart, but as he was blessed by the Lord with truth and accuracy, it seems he may have grown his reputation for his own personal gain.

Further case in point: Balaam may not have been as close to the Lord as it seemed at first.  After all, it wasn't Balaam who saw the angel, but his donkey.  And rather than confront the angel, despite beatings, the donkey tried to swerve aside or stop, even stop Balaam from continuing.  Balaam, who had been riding this donkey for years, knew her temperament, should have known at once that something was amiss, was so focused on his goal that he didn't consider the implications.  The Lord had to open her mouth to speak as a human in order to get his attention!  Surely, a true prophet would have been sensitive to divine intervention, right?  (I would like to think Jeremiah or Isaiah or Joel or Haggai would have, but I cannot really judge: I wasn't there.)  However, when Balaam sees the angel, and hears how his donkey's behavior has saved his life, he readily acknowledges he is a sinner, and he understands that now God does indeed intend for him to go to Balak, but with God's own purposes in mind, neither Balak's nor Balaam's.

That, we get to see tomorrow. :)

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 23:1-24:14

Numbers 20:22-21:35

Is it just me, or was the death of Aaron sad?  Granted, he was told that he would not see the promised land for his part in disobedience at the waters of Meribah, and it's rather surprising that he made it so far when he had such an unpromising beginning at the Golden Calf incident.  Still, it struck me as rather sad.  Can you put yourself in his shoes?  Marching up to the top of Mount Hor, watching as your little brother devests you of your position and office as he instills them on your son, and then... dying.  Thus ends Aaron.  I know it wasn't quite like that, but it seems like a sad and anticlimatic end for a man who walked with Moses throughout the plagues, the Passover, the Red Sea, Mt. Sinai.  Granted, he never held the position with the Lord that Moses did, and he definitely was fallible.  Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise: Aaron and Moses were well-advanced in years by this time.  Maybe it was a release to be "let go" from serving such a stubborn people and to be gathered to his fathers.  There aren't quite enough details in the passage to know.

Did you notice that we are beginning to see the wanderings of the people?  It is passages like these that I think I need to keep a Bible atlas handy on the desk as I'm reading.  I rather have a notion that they were criss-crossing paths with themselves as they went from place to place, but then again, maybe they wandered in circles.  I don't know the geography of these locations well enough to know.  I think tomorrow I'll pull out the maps.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 22:1-41 (have you noticed we're more than halfway through Numbers now?)

Numbers 19:1-20:21

I didn't get my reading and blogpost done yesterday.  I allowed myself to get caught up in my housework, thinking I'd get to it any minute, or if necessary last night after Bible study.  However, after Bible study I was worn out, my body was overtaxed and in pain, and I desperately needed to go to bed.  Thankfully, though, my daughter went right back to bed after breakfast this morning and it has afforded me a little bit of catch-up time.

I always felt a little sorry for Moses that after working with such a stubborn and difficult group of people, that he was never allowed to enter into the Promised Land.  But after reading straight through Numbers like we have the past few weeks, I begin to see that God could hardly let Moses and Aaron go unpunished before the people for their sin, when the people themselves are held accountable for their own.  Did they not grumble enough that Moses and Aaron were so favored?  Would that really have been just from a just God?

What I find interesting about the incident at Meribah is that it was Moses who was angry, not the Lord.  God Almighty did not complain about the stubbornness or the stiff-necked nature of the Israelites here.  Perhaps that's because it's understandable that anyone would get cranky when water was scarce.  Their lament was the same refrain as always: "Oh, if only we had died at such and such time rather than go through this!"  Part of me did want to remind them that God had promised the younger generation would come into the Promised Land and the older generation would not, but... They're thirsty.  None of us are too pleasant when we're thirsty.  When we're thirsty, all we think about is getting that drink.  It was Moses, instead, who after receiving instructions from God, went out and chastised the congregation, striking the rock twice.

Did you notice the discrepancy that cost Moses his entrance to the Promised Land?  God had told him to command the water to come forth, but in his anger Moses was a little melodramatic and struck the rock instead.  Water gushed out.  God, who knows Moses' heart far better than we could ever read into it, knew that this resulted in some amount of disbelief.  Maybe Moses doubted that water would come at his command.  Maybe he felt God was being to lenient.  I don't know.  But God knew Moses' heart, and the due punishment was that he, too, would die in the wilderness with his own generation.  (Don't worry: the Lord does allow Moses to look into the land before he dies; he just never sets foot in it.)

Also: take note of Edom in this passage.  These are the people descended from Esau, and so distant cousins to the Israelites.  God does not forget that Edom does Israel this disservice by not allowing them to sojourn in their land.  Edom's continuing attitude towards Israel will come back to bite them in the tuckus.  We just won't see it for another... year?  We'll read about it when we hit the Prophets.

Today's Reading: Numbers 20:22-21:35

Numbers 17:1-18:32

I'll just be honest: I'm having a really hard time concentrating on this today.  It's not that the passage is entirely uninteresting: can you imagine the scene when the staffs are brought back to the tribal leaders and upon examination, every sees that Aaron's staff has not only budded, but flowered and produced almonds?  Did anyone else wonder why the people's immediate response was how they were going to live in the vicinity without dying, when the entire point of the Law in Leviticus and Numbers was to show the people what they must do to live in the presence of the holy God?  Or the fact that their immediate response was despair, though God had shown mercy in His righteous anger again and again (after all, they're still breathing, aren't they)?  Chapter 18 is also quite important, though it's full ramifications may not be felt until Joshua.  Joshua chronicles Israel's entrance into the Promised Land and what was to be their conquering mission (which they did not really fulfill), but also the assignment of each tribe's land inheritance.  This was their inheritance in the promise to Abraham and to Isaac and to Jacob that they would be granted that land from the Lord.  However, the Levites didn't receive an inheritance (this, Jacob himself saw in Genesis 49).  Rather, they were to be scattered among the people, both as a result of their forefather's hasty revenge but also because they were willing to fight for the Lord in the Golden Calf incident (Exodus 30ff).  They were consecrated to the Lord for His service and to serve in the Tabernacle, as we've seen throughout Leviticus and Numbers.  Instead, as their inheritance, the Levites were given cities, known as Levitical cities, and the portions of the offerings and sacrifices that the Lord describes in this chapter are their inheritance.  As they did not own land, they could not farm; as they served in the Tabernacle, they did not conduct business; the offerings were their support and livelihood.  If you were a Levite, this was an important matter as this was how you knew you and your family would be provided for.  If you were an Israelite from another tribe, this would have been important to you to help you understand how your sacrifices and offerings were to be properly used.  (Admit it, we all like to know our taxes are going to good use as well, right?  Very different purposes, but we have similar feelings.) 

That may seem more than enough to be saying about a passage, but... There's plenty of info, but not a lot of life application.  I guess I could boil it down to as an example of how God provides for His people, and that I can take it as a promise that He will always provide for me.  It's definitely true enough, though it didn't take much thought of effort on my part.  I guess I just never want to take that kind of thing for granted: or take the "easy road" on application.  After all, I want to my Scripture reading to have an impact, I want to meditate on it and internalize it.  But I'm just not there tonight.  A failing on my part, obviously.  Holy Spirit, I just pray that I don't take this reading lightly, that I don't treat this as a daily check-list.  I want to know Your Word and to know You better through it.  I want to be a better disciple because of it.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 19:1-20:21

Numbers 16:1-50

Interesting little passage, isn't it?  I guess it's no surprise that someone would come along who thinks they can do it better, and is willing to try to prove it.  After all, isn't that similar to how our country started?  (Similar, but not exact.)  What gets me is that after God's awesome display of power, the Israelites are ready to rebel again.  I mean, would you really think it's wise to cross the God who can open the earth to swallow you whole and live for ongoing, impertinent, rebellious sin?  Forget the fact that He has proven over and over and over and over (can I put in one more over?) how much He cared for Israel, His provision, His grace, by not zapping every time they tested His patience.

Now, honestly, I do try to give them some credit.  After all, I'm not perfect.  I still have my times of doubt, even when God has more than amply proved His love and provision for myself.  Perhaps it's an innate human failing.  It's so easy for us to pass judgment on them in hindsight, and especially when all of these stories are told in succession, when we don't know all the circumstances and time lines, nor are we really in any position to judge.  But I admit, I read this one and say, "Oh, come on, people!"  The contest between Korah, Dathan, Abiram and Moses and Aaron was to prove who was righteous and chosen by God; it obviously came out in Moses' favor.  Yet the people rebelled.  I would like to say, "How dense can they get?"  But I really don't think we are too different.  When things don't go quite as expected, don't we get upset and ask why?  When things don't go our way, don't we demand explanations?  Truth is, I think the rest of Numbers is filled with similar incidents where people come up against the Lord, thinking they've got it figured out; and they don't.  I can't say I've got a great deal of wisdom in this area or that I've got it all figured out.  I can say that I am trying harder every day to follow my Lord more closely.  It's still a struggle, though, to live for what He wants more than I want.  I still need His help with that one.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 17:1-18:32

Numbers 15:1-41

In Numbers 15, we see commandments for sacrifices, again.  It might seem overredundancy, but in reality, it's not.  In light of the fact that the older generation, the "ruling" generation, shall we say, is now sentenced to die in the wilderness, it is upon the younger generation to take to hear the commandments given by the Lord.  Notice, these commands about offerings all relate to when they have come into the Land.  These were things that the younger generation was to take notice of and remember when they were the "conquering heroes".

The tassels here are important.  They were to remind the people, generation after generation, of this one generations' infidelity.  It was to remind them of the consequences of following their own desires rather than being faithful to the Lord.  Today, when someone is making a decision, you'll often hear an advice giver saying, "Well, what does your heart tell you?"  We are always being commended to "follow our hearts".  But here, God reminds us that our hearts can be deceitful and vain: they don't always lead us in the way we should go.  Emotions are fickle and misleading, but God's truth stands forever.  Rather than our hearts, we believers should be listening to God's Word, and where God's Word is silent on a matter, listening to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit; He'll never steer us wrong.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 16:1-50

Numbers 14:1-45, Redux

We could go into deep, theological discussion on Israel's lack of trust in regards to conquering the Promised Land, or into raptures over the beauty of Joshua and Caleb's plea to the people of Israel.  But do you know what I'm stuck on tonight from this passage?  The irony.

When the Israelites heard the spies' report, completely ignoring Caleb's argument, their immediate response was this: Oh, if only we'd died in Egypt rather than face this!  If only we would die in this wilderness!

It's no small wonder that God's anger burned against them.  All too often during their time in the wilderness after their escape (yes, escape, deliverance) from Egypt, the Israelites had complained.  They were hungry; they were going to die of hunger.  They were thirsty; they were going to die of thirst.  Wouldn't it have been better to remain oppressed and abused in Egypt?  Oh, now they have food, but they don't have meat.  They didn't like how Moses did things.  They didn't like this, they didn't like that.  For a people greatly indebted to the Lord, they didn't seem very grateful.  (Sound familiar?)  Now, they were told to go in and take possession of a land that would bless their socks (okay, sandals) off, and they wished they'd died there in the wilderness!  So what did God do?  He granted their wish.

He would have been okay with just zapping them right there and starting over with Moses.  But the plea Moses spoke was true: God doesn't nullify His promises, nor would He allow a pagan nation to triumph and gloat over His people in such a way.  However, it was a done deal: anyone old enough to be held accountable for their behavior, those who had seen God's wonders and yet tested Him ten times would never see the Promised Land.  They would die in the wilderness.  And their children, whom they had so feared would suffer for going into the Promised Land, would suffer for their parents' disbelief: they'd wander for 40 years.  Yet, they would be the ones to take possession of the Promised Land.  They would be the generation to go forward and fulfill the promise God had made to Abraham so many generations before them.

It makes you wonder: what decisions do you make today that will affect your children tomorrow?  Specifically, what decisions of faith?  Your choice in faithfulness in attending church will affect your children and their attitude towards the importance of corporate worship.  They way you lead example in prayer, in private devotion and study, in tithing, fasting, how you apply God's word; how you treat others: it all affects how your children will perceive these things.  It's a heavy load.  A very heavy load!  I look at my daughter, I think of my son yet to be born, and I realize that the decisions my husband and I make today in how we live, the decisions we make tomorrow will inevitably affect our children's attitudes towards the Faith.  Praise God, He is the One who saves them!  But I do owe them a responsibility in how I live out my faith.  If I am a true disciple of Christ, if I am earnest in my love and devotion, then I can only hope it will influence them to believe in Him.  If I'm not... 

We have a practice in many churches of dedicating our children to the Lord as infants, as Hannah did Samuel, as Mary and Joseph did with Jesus.  I appreciate the fact that our church emphasizes that we devote ourselves as parents just as much to raising our children to know the Lord.  It's a serious commitment, as Nick and I learned when we took our baby girl forward more than a year ago.  It will be again when we take our son.  But more than that, I have decided to devote myself, every day, to the Lord: that I might be a worthy servant, and that I might be a worthy example for them.  I've got a lot to learn.

Today's Reading: Numbers 15:1-41

Numbers 14:1-45

I've looked at my reading for today, but as I've been so focused on the Daniel study I'm going through with the women's Bible study, I haven't had any time to focus on it.  Which is a shame, as it covers a pivotal point in Israel's history.  In the book of Numbers, period.  So I may have to revisit it tomorrow along with chapter fifteen.  But for now, I need some sleep!  I barely slept last night and I have felt run down all day.  (Though I should get used to it, being 9 weeks out from a new baby.  And a sleepless schedule.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 15:1-41

Numbers 12:1-13:33

The set reading for today was only through 13:25, but for eight more verses, I think you can round out the story a little better.  Chapter 13 is an important point on the Israelites journey: they had left Egypt two years ago, had finally set out from Sinai, and this was their first glimpse of the Promised Land.  Remember that: the land was promised to them. 

Moses sent spies into the land to bring back reports about what kind of place it was and what they could expect there.  The intention was to then go in and take possession of it.  Did you notice that the branch with the grapes on it was so large that they had to carry it on a pole between two men.  Have you ever seen such a bountiful bunch of grapes?  Not me.  They also took figs and pomegranates to show the people on their return.  All of these fruits would have demonstrated to the people waiting out in the wilderness that the Promised Land was a fruitful place, well able to produce in abundance.  As well as this, even the contentious among the spies are willing to admit that the land was flowing with milk and honey: a euphemism for the richness and fruitfulness of the land, in that it could support large flocks to produce the milk and that honey was rare and precious and sweet.  Yet what do they say that the end of the chapter?  The spies' report could be summarized like this: "Yeah, sure, the land is good, definitely fruitful, but you gotta understand: the people there are greater than us.  They have big fortified cities.  There's no way we could take them!"  Caleb alone stands up and reminds them that if God goes before them, who can stand up against them?  It was more likely that these people might flee before them, right?  And God had promised them this land!  The spies were so focused on the negative of what they saw, they completely ignored the huge blessings that come from living in such a land.

I've been like this before.  I know, I, too, want to smack them upside the heads and yell, "Come on!"  But I've done this before myself; what do I have to say?  It was just a year ago that my husband resolved to quit his job because he wasn't making any money.  The bad economy had hit the entertainment technology industry as everyone began to tighten their belts.  We weren't making ends meet.  In fact, we couldn't really pay the bills.  It was a blow, as he'd just started a position he'd always wanted.  But he knew he needed the time to devote to job searching, rather than spending time at a position where he wasn't really getting paid anymore.  At the same time, our daughter who was just barely four months old, contracted bronchialitis.  She needed medical attention and treatments, and we no longer had insurance.  The moment that I realized she was that sick, and the possibility of RSV and a hospital stay loomed before me, I hit the roof.  I was so scared, and I couldn't believe we'd been put into this position.  We firmly believed God had led Nick to that position.  We firmly believed it was time for him to leave.  And we didn't have any money to support ourselves or our daughter.

I focused on these things so much, that I missed the blessings the Lord had set over us: we had a roof over our heads as my parents had agreed to take us in so we could sell our condo.  Both sets of grandparents were supportive, my mom even telling me that they would help if necessary; Eliza would get proper care.  We had a good church family who was praying for us, good friends who supported us.  We had each other, and a doctor who cared more for our daughter's well-being than that the bills would get paid right away.  She loaned us a nebulizer so we wouldn't have to pay to buy one or rent one!  It was such a blessing, even that small act.  As well, we had friends who reached out to us in our time of need and provided gifts to us; gifts that to this day still make me a little emotional in gratitude.  But I was in danger of losing sight of that because I couldn't see how we would pay for everything.  I had to learn to look for those things and

It's been a year since then.  We've had a lot of bills come in, and we've worked hard to try to get them paid off.  The Lord showed His provision to us in being able to set up payment plans, to faithfully provide each month to cover them.  And then, we finally received help from a federal program that allowed us to take care of our medical bills.  Just in time before another baby comes!  Where we are today may yet be far from where we'd like to be, but it is so much further than where we were a year ago.  God is so good!  I would have been tempted to focus on the negatives, on the fears and worries, rather than see how God was already providing and would continue to do so.  I would like to shake my head at the Israelites, but I can't.  I'm only glad that I learned from their mistakes, and a few of my own.  I hope to be wiser in the future.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 14:1-45

Numbers 11:1-35

I know I am not alone in wishing that sometimes the Lord would hand me a designated "road map", a bottle of water, and some granola bars as He guides me through my life.  Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish He would tell me what He wanted me to do/where He wanted me to go/which decision I should make!"  Yeah, me, too.  When I was still single, and beginning to believe that God just might be calling me to a life of celibacy, I often said, "If I just knew if this was what He really wanted for me!"  I already knew the party line about, if you are single, then the Lord has called you to celibacy, and completely agreed.  What I wanted to know was if my celibacy was temporary or permanent; I felt the need to prepare myself.  Praise the Lord, in His rich wisdom and blessings, I have been blessed with the opportunity to marry an amazing man, and all in God's good time!  But there were days when I really wanted to know what that time was!

The Israelites had the blessing we modern Christians, who have never seen but have trusted our Savior, often long for.  God made it pretty clear when He wanted them to go and where.  By day, He hovered over the Tabernacle in a cloud, by night a flame of fire.  If the cloud lifted, the Israelites knew it was time pack up and move out.  If God remained over the Tabernacle, they were to stay put.  You can imagine a scene like this:

Man 1: Is it time to go yet?
Man 2: (Looks at the Tabernacle).  Oh, nope.  The cloud is still over that Tabernacle.  Another day in Paran.

Or whatever they might have said.  All they had to do was follow the Ark of the Covenant and the Lord's cloud or fire, and they knew where they were to go.  Visible, tangible guidance from God.

But they weren't satisified.

Already, the complaining starts in chapter eleven, just after they set out from Sinai!  In fact, it says that they complained of their misfortunes.  You might be thinking, as I often do, "What were those?"  After all, they had been rescued from a hard slavery by the Lord, brought safely through wilderness before a galloping army, walked through the sea on dry ground, defeated any enemies threatening them, and are provided food every morning.  No grocery shopping; no hunting.  Just go out and pick it up off the ground and make whatever you like: boiled manna, baked manna, manna porridge... 

It says in verse four, though, that "rabble among them" stirred them up to complaint.  These were likely any Egyptians or even people of other ethnicities that escaped Egypt along with the Israelites, and not all of them found the journey to their taste.  However, the Israelites did choose to listen to them, and they too missed the food they had known in Egypt, the comforts of a steady bed, a steady diet, a steady job...  Familiarity.  There is certainty in familiarity.  And though the Lord guided them, showed them the way, made it clear in which way they were to go, the Israelites didn't necessarily know everything.  They never knew when they were to depart, until it was time to go.  They never knew where they were going until they got there.  After all, this was new territory.  And all of this with a monotony in food, in company, perhaps in scenery.  (I don't know: I've never been to that part of the world.)

It's so easy to shake your head at the Israelites and think they were great fools (and perhaps they were) because they were blessed to live in the very visible presence of the Lord and daily experience His provision, and yet they complained.  But I have to wonder: are we so different?  Would I really be satisfied if the Lord handed me that road map, the bottled water, and the granola bars?  Would I happily follow along behind Him then?  I have a map.  Clearly I can see where I am and where I'm going: unless there's a fork in the road.  What if He didn't tell me where I was going?  Would I only be content with granola bars?  Don't we often find something to complain about?

It seems that the real problem the Israelites have, and maybe that we have today, too, is a lack of faith.  You know the famous line from the Santa Clause movies: Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing?  The Israelites saw, and yet they didn't trust.  They didn't trust the Lord's provision for all their needs, and they weren't satisifed with what they were offered.  Even Moses, when the Lord promised meat for a month in response to their groans, was a bit incredulous, wondering where God would get the herds to slaughter.  There was a small lack somewhere in faith and understanding in all that the Lord is able to do, a lack of trust for His purposes.  When they reach the Promised Land in a few chapters, do they rejoice and storm in to take possession of the land, as commanded?  We shall see that soon.

When you have cut all the details down to the essentials, which is more important?  Faith and trust in God, or having all the answers?  I believe that what God wants for us above all things is for us to have faith in Him and to abide in Him.  To do that, do you really need answers?  Answers can help, especially when we are weak, but how much stronger our faith must be and is when we don't have them.  When we simply rely on God alone.  Now that's easy to say.  How easy is it, then, to live?

Numbers 9:15-10:36

If you're parent you'll understand what I mean when I say: when you have a sick child, you have NO time for anything else!  And my girl isn't incredibly sick: she has pink eye.  But I spent a great deal of yesterday doing the regular laundry, as well as extra linens and towels and things as part of germ-management, not to mention wiping down surfaces, wrestling with her to take her eye drops, and trying to keep her clean of her own gunk.  I did get to read, but I didn't get to blog.

I thought about going ahead and posting some of my thoughts belatedly today, but they tie in so well with today's passage that I think I'm just going to put them all together.

Tomorrow's (Today's) Passage: Numbers 11:1-35