Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Numbers 12:1-13:33

The set reading for today was only through 13:25, but for eight more verses, I think you can round out the story a little better.  Chapter 13 is an important point on the Israelites journey: they had left Egypt two years ago, had finally set out from Sinai, and this was their first glimpse of the Promised Land.  Remember that: the land was promised to them. 

Moses sent spies into the land to bring back reports about what kind of place it was and what they could expect there.  The intention was to then go in and take possession of it.  Did you notice that the branch with the grapes on it was so large that they had to carry it on a pole between two men.  Have you ever seen such a bountiful bunch of grapes?  Not me.  They also took figs and pomegranates to show the people on their return.  All of these fruits would have demonstrated to the people waiting out in the wilderness that the Promised Land was a fruitful place, well able to produce in abundance.  As well as this, even the contentious among the spies are willing to admit that the land was flowing with milk and honey: a euphemism for the richness and fruitfulness of the land, in that it could support large flocks to produce the milk and that honey was rare and precious and sweet.  Yet what do they say that the end of the chapter?  The spies' report could be summarized like this: "Yeah, sure, the land is good, definitely fruitful, but you gotta understand: the people there are greater than us.  They have big fortified cities.  There's no way we could take them!"  Caleb alone stands up and reminds them that if God goes before them, who can stand up against them?  It was more likely that these people might flee before them, right?  And God had promised them this land!  The spies were so focused on the negative of what they saw, they completely ignored the huge blessings that come from living in such a land.

I've been like this before.  I know, I, too, want to smack them upside the heads and yell, "Come on!"  But I've done this before myself; what do I have to say?  It was just a year ago that my husband resolved to quit his job because he wasn't making any money.  The bad economy had hit the entertainment technology industry as everyone began to tighten their belts.  We weren't making ends meet.  In fact, we couldn't really pay the bills.  It was a blow, as he'd just started a position he'd always wanted.  But he knew he needed the time to devote to job searching, rather than spending time at a position where he wasn't really getting paid anymore.  At the same time, our daughter who was just barely four months old, contracted bronchialitis.  She needed medical attention and treatments, and we no longer had insurance.  The moment that I realized she was that sick, and the possibility of RSV and a hospital stay loomed before me, I hit the roof.  I was so scared, and I couldn't believe we'd been put into this position.  We firmly believed God had led Nick to that position.  We firmly believed it was time for him to leave.  And we didn't have any money to support ourselves or our daughter.

I focused on these things so much, that I missed the blessings the Lord had set over us: we had a roof over our heads as my parents had agreed to take us in so we could sell our condo.  Both sets of grandparents were supportive, my mom even telling me that they would help if necessary; Eliza would get proper care.  We had a good church family who was praying for us, good friends who supported us.  We had each other, and a doctor who cared more for our daughter's well-being than that the bills would get paid right away.  She loaned us a nebulizer so we wouldn't have to pay to buy one or rent one!  It was such a blessing, even that small act.  As well, we had friends who reached out to us in our time of need and provided gifts to us; gifts that to this day still make me a little emotional in gratitude.  But I was in danger of losing sight of that because I couldn't see how we would pay for everything.  I had to learn to look for those things and

It's been a year since then.  We've had a lot of bills come in, and we've worked hard to try to get them paid off.  The Lord showed His provision to us in being able to set up payment plans, to faithfully provide each month to cover them.  And then, we finally received help from a federal program that allowed us to take care of our medical bills.  Just in time before another baby comes!  Where we are today may yet be far from where we'd like to be, but it is so much further than where we were a year ago.  God is so good!  I would have been tempted to focus on the negatives, on the fears and worries, rather than see how God was already providing and would continue to do so.  I would like to shake my head at the Israelites, but I can't.  I'm only glad that I learned from their mistakes, and a few of my own.  I hope to be wiser in the future.

Tomorrow's Reading: Numbers 14:1-45

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