This is for my d-group girls out there that think I'm a Bible study fiend: I'm pooped out. Seriously. I have been studying all day. I have been studying all day Daniel for the ladies' Bible study I participate in on Thursdays. I got behind in my daily studies for this week (and actually, last week, too) because I've been caught up in a different study altogether, contemplating Colossians for a writing project. Let me tell you, by the time I got to my personal reading for tonight, I have been Bible-studied out. I think my d-group (discipleship group) girls would completely emphasize but be a little surprised by this. (Maybe not?) You see, I am the ultimate Bible nerd to them. And I know how I got myself the reputation. Yes, I'm one of those group leaders who gets excited over maps of Bible lands and times. I draw timelines for Biblical events. I am the Bible-Story-Teller. And I admit: I do love me some Bible stories, especially from the Old Testament. But, very very sadly, I don't have much to bring to the table on Deuteronomy 15-16, the Passover, the Feast of Booths, the Feast of Weeks. It took all I had just to pay attention to what I was reading. Where I wanted to be was thinking about what my husband and I should plant in our first-ever garden project together, or thinking out viable means of losing weight when this baby is born (b/c I soooo need to lose weight), or thinking of the housework I need to get done tomorrow and Saturday while my husband is working. What, me? Thinking about housework instead of the Bible? Yes.
I would much rather put a greater amount of effort into my personal devotion time, but I also recognize that I am being challenged by the other studying I do. The reason I emphasize the personal time is that I don't want to allow other pursuits to replace that devotional time that I dedicate to the Lord. It would be easy to look at the preparation to for a lesson as devotional time, yet strictly, it isn't. I have an ulterior motive there. Personal devotions, I feel, should be about me, my God, and my relationship to Him. This is why doing my devotions late at night is not the best scenario: sometimes the best parts of my brain (and let's admit it, being pregnant they are relatively few) have been spent in other pursuits. I want to bring my best to God. Which, I have to tell you, doesn't really happen early in the morning, either. It takes a good hour or so to wake up and the brain to function; it's been like that since I was a teenager. It's a difficult balance to find.
All that to say: I am not really a Bible-study fiend. I have my human limitations, and I've hit today. Tomorrow, though, tomorrow I hope for better.
Tomorrow's Reading: Deuteronomy 17:8-18:22
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